


This Looks Like a Job For…

by Captain_Emily



Category: DCU, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-07
Updated: 2011-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-14 12:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Emily/pseuds/Captain_Emily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a potential student finds himself without an owl, he's forced to improvise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Looks Like a Job For…

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or DC Comics.

  


It was just ten days until September first, and the Hogwarts professors were gathered in the Great Hall for their evening meal. Though a few were talking amongst themselves, most were eating quietly, weary from preparations for the upcoming year. The enchanted ceiling was a riot of star-speckled deep blues and purples, mirroring the night sky outside. Like many of his fellow professors, Severus Snape was relishing the peaceful atmosphere as it would become all too rare once the students returned.

The quiet was suddenly shattered by the flapping wings and angry hoots of several dozen owls announcing the arrival of the evening mail. Rather than land as expected, the owls flew in nervous circles near the ceiling, drawing the professors' attention.

The cause of their distress flew in a few seconds later and the gathered witches and wizards could only stare in various degrees of shock and incomprehension.

It was a dog.

A _flying_ dog _in a red cape._

Severus eyed the snow-white beast, then leaned over and peered into his goblet. He gave it a small sniff, just to be safe. He waved his wand over his cup and plate, muttering detection spells under his breath. Satisfied that he was not, in fact, hallucinating, he sat back and merely watched as Dumbledore called the dog over. It hovered over the table, unsure of what to do, until with a wave of his wand the headmaster vanished the nearby dishes and beckoned for the dog to land.

Her feline instincts taking over, Minerva McGonagall bristled at the dog's nearness, scooting her chair away until she was nearly shoulder to shoulder with Professor Vector.

Down at the end of the platform, Hagrid was leaning over the table, watching their guest with wide-eyed glee and completely unaware of the gravy that now covered the front of moleskin coat.

The canine cheerfully barked and sniffed at the headmaster. The elder man, ignoring the slobber in his beard, removed an envelope from the dog's neck and studied the shiny gold name tag on its red collar.

"Well hello, Krypto." Dumbledore scratched the dog behind his left ear, seemingly oblivious to Krypto's happily wagging tail, which—with every thump—rattled the massive oak table, knocking over dishes and goblets from one end to the other.

Severus bit back a curse as he vanished the wine from his lap. Thankfully, the tremors soon ceased as Dumbledore's attention was taken by the letter. The plain white envelope was obviously muggle in origin, and the letter itself was written on a sheet of lined paper that still had the jagged edges from being ripped out of a spiral notebook.

"It seems as though young Kon-El has accepted our offer and will be joining us this year. How fortunate! Many schools were scouting this young man, you know." Conjuring a quill and a piece of parchment, he jotted down a quick note and reattached it to the dog's collar before giving him another fond scratch behind the ear.

Gritting his teeth, Severus banished the remains of his dinner before it too ended up in his lap.

He glared at both the dog and the headmaster as Dumbledore attempted to feed the beast a sliver of chicken. It sniffed the meat and, with teeth that could bite through steel, delicately snapped it out of his hands. Before Dumbledore could start another minor earthquake, the dog snatched the entire platter and soared out an open window.

Dumbledore merely chuckled. "What a delightful creature!"

Severus looked at him as though he were mad. But before he could respond with a suitably cutting comment, Minerva McGonagall spoke. "Yes, well, at least it's gone."

"Ah, but he'll be back in a week or so."

"Excuse me?" Severus hissed.

"I've given Mr. El permission to bring Krypto as his familiar!"

Unsurprisingly, only Hagrid seemed pleased with this news.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do to change Dumbledore's mind, Severus sighed, poured another glass of wine, and began contemplating the benefits of retirement.

 

* * *

Author's Note: Is it any wonder that I can't finish any of my novel-length fics when my brain keeps getting shanghaied by these goofy one-shots? And now I'm in the mood to play with Kon (Superboy, to those of you not familiar with the DCU), so I doubt I'll be working on any major projects anytime soon.

" _Damn you, Plot Bunnies!"_ *dramatically shakes fist at the heavens*


End file.
